Top Ten Things I Am Thankful For

#10 My Chucks

Those of you who know me know that I take pics of my feet.  Where have my feet been today?  And those adventures have been marvelous.  For over two years my Chucks have been in so many pictures in so many places doing so many things.  I look at my poor shoes – dirty (afraid to wash them as they may disintegrate in the dryer), the sides tearing away from the material, missing part of the stripes – and I think, you are my favoritest pair of shoes ever!  They walked me to a shark tank, they walked me past a shrine of a Saint, they walked me across the Bk Bridge for the first time, they walked me through an Impact Zone….  Thank you Chucks for being there to share in the adventure of my life.  (giggle)

 

#9 Windows and the Art of Imagination

I think I am, without a doubt, the most imaginative 41 year old you will ever meet.  It gets away from me sometimes.  I love to Imagine (almost as much as I love to Wish for things).  When I am on the train and a wonderfully depressing song plays on my MP3, I imagine that I am an ice skater gliding around the rink, arms extended, jumps perfect.  When walking somewhere with Amanda I will imagine that “if this were a scary movie, we would come back past this cliff to find those climbers dangling from their two carabineers” (sick, I know).  I imagine Alex standing in front of a class of students, white shirt sleeves rolled up, explaining a complicated equation to a future scientist or musician.  So why mention windows – because some of my best imagining has occurred while looking out a window – on a train, sitting at the house, in the car.

 

#8 Sharing

Some of the best things have happened in my life while sharing with someone else.  How much brighter a day is when you can share it with someone you love.  How much funnier is a silly thought if you share it with a friend.  How much easier it is to bear the weight of life if shared with another set of shoulders.  How much tastier is a new dish when you can discuss it over the table with someone who appreciates it as much as you.  What fun is your life if it is not shared with others?

 

#7 Books/Movies/Music

I grouped these three together and sit here for a moment and sigh.  What a boring life this would be without these three.  And I know that pioneers and cavemen survived without them…. I think that our ability to continue learning way beyond the years of our youth is one of the greatest things in life and I think Books, Movies and Music helps us further our education whether we realize it or not.  I tear through books trying to soak in the story like a sponge.  They open my eyes to other ways of thought, other ways of life.  Movies transport me to places I can only dream of visiting someday.  They take us to different times that have long passed and which we will never be able experience first hand.  Movies aid my #9 on this list.  And then there is Music – I hate when people ask my favorite song.  That is like asking me to pick my favorite child.  Impossible.  They are all so different and have brought different things to me at different times in my life.  My life is richer because of these three.   Oooohhhh – AC/DC is playing in my memory and I am dancing on a desk with Laura Elliott in Brockman Hall… yes, music makes the memories sweeter.

#6 Laughter

Rhonda told me recently if she had to choose one thing that she had to do for the rest of her life and could do nothing else, she would choose laughing.  I pondered that a bit and thought that that would be an amazing life if all you did was laugh.  Yesterday evening I sat on the phone with Erin while we played Lexulous (remotely yet together) and laughed as she belted out her favorite 80s tunes.  What a great way to end a workday.  But my favorite laughter is that of a child.  This past Halloween hearing Bella laugh in my backseat reinforced that.  Over my birthday weekend hearing Ethan, Mercedes, Austin and Own giggle as Chris chased them reinforced that.  I can remember one time when Amanda and Alex were playing in the living room at our old house on Kelly Avenue.  I was washing dishes, it was a warm day, the windows were open and whatever mischief they were into made them burst into a fit of giggles that tickled my ears and made me put down my chores and go join in on the fun.  Some fifteen years later I was listening from my bedroom on Atlantic Avenue, Alex was home on break and the two of them were talking about something in the living room.  They broke into laughter and my ears were just as happy.  A child’s laugh, my child’s laugh…nothing is sweeter.

 

#5 Cell Phone Technology

Yeah, I know I bitch about having to hear Mr. I Cannot Wait Five Minutes Till I Get To The Office To Make This Call Guy.  HOWEVER – cell phones, what wonderful things they can be if used properly.  How many snapshots have I taken and sent with my phone (one in particular gives me giggles – trying to sneak a pic of some creeper staring at me on the train to send to Erin and Mel and not realizing the sound was NOT muted and as the camera sound echoed through our section of seats the guy looked me in the eye with a most perplexed look…ha! who is the creeper now?!?).  So many great bits of news have I shared with family over the cell.  So many times have I been relieved to receive information quickly from a text.  So many smiles have I enjoyed from a simple text received.  (the best text ever I have saved on my SIM card says – “I am on my way. I love U!” – Amanda was heading to prom).  So, yeah – just for today I will be thankful for the cell phone technology – I still have some hours till my commute home to change my mind….lol

 

#4 New York

I moved to New York April 2002.  I was supposed to move in September 2001 but we all know what happened then and for that reason my plans were put on hold.  As I approach my eighth anniversary as a New Yorker I am thankful for all of the opportunities I have been afforded by living here.  This phase of my life has been amazingly rich in experiences.  The people I have met, the things I have seen, the food I have tasted – all because of NY.  I do not know why but the image of “Lou Gossett Jr” in his mini skirt walking down the platform of the A Train as Melissa and I stared with mouths hanging open comes to mind.  Oh, how many times have I said, “Only in NY”.

 

#3 Kisses

Who doesn’t like a great kiss?  Sigh.  Ok, well, there are other types of kisses too.  Kissing the crown of a newborn’s head as the doctor tells you they are healthy.  Kissing my Mommy hello when I see her after a long period of time.  In New York, everyone kisses you whether you want it or not…THAT I had to get used to.  But how about that “first kiss”?  Watching him walk across the street to you, smiling, eyes twinkling… grabbing you up and kissing you and right then you realize that this kiss, this one right here, could possibly be the sweetest kiss you have ever tasted.  Sigh.  Yeah, he made me a girl.

 

#2 Snapshots/Stories/Memories

Yeah I love to take pictures and tell stories about my memories.  I like to write my stories out so I can remember the details of them later.  I have journals that can make me cry, laugh or be pissed just with the flip of a page.  Documentation is elemental in my life.  My greatest fear in life is the loss of my memories.  So all these blogs, stories, pictures – they all are like my own little security blanket.  I love to have an audience that is enjoying the story that I am telling, I am animated and boisterous.  I love to make them laugh or be amazed right along with me.  I love it when people enjoy the pictures I take.  I am a ham.  And you love it, you know you do….. lol

 

#1 Loved Ones

This encompasses all of you – my friends, my family, my kids, my Christopher.  How sweet my life is because of all of you.  How great it is that I can make this list and think of stories that involve at least one of you for each and every number on here.  How blessed I am that we travel along the same path in life.  How very thankful I am that you are in my life…

 

For these things I am Thankful on this Thanksgiving….now pass the damn turkey! Ha!

Honorable Mentions:

Everything Bagels

Solar Rolls @ Umi Sushi

Toes in the sand @ Long Beach, NY

Tracks Bar & Grill

Jager

Erin’s bed in Boston

 

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Facebook is this crazy place that brings new people together and old farts back onto each others’ radars. I was fortunate enough over the weekend to see friends from high school who I had not seen in ages.  I also had the misfortune of seeing some people that I could have gone without seeing at all.  During the drinks and festivities I was given pause to consider why it is I do not like two people in particular and ended up changing my course of action on one.

When I arrived last night to the location of the good time about to be had, I looked around the room and tried to make out a number of faces that were familiar but because of the number of years which had passed, recognition was slow to click on a number of them.  Of course, there were my friends who I see each trip who make me smile so hard that (even as I type this blog) I find my cheeks hurting and my heart still smiles at our conversations.  There are the people I have reconnected with that I have the assistance of photos from FB to realize who they are.  Then there are the ones that I know I did not care for in high school so I do not feel the need to add them some twenty-odd years later to a social network that I enjoy and for which I would have to see their comments and grimace on a regular basis.  My FB is my happy little bubble where I take the best of the best and keep them close.

So as Aaron was explaining to me who a particular person was I commented, “I think I pissed him off at some point in my life or maybe he pissed me off… Did he sleep with someone I know?  Yeah – I remember horror stories.  But, I feel like I don’t like him and I cannot remember why.”  And although I still cannot recall exactly why it is that I do not like this guy so much, his actions toward me last evening gave me enough reasons to validate my distaste of him this morning.  There are those without character in this life who rely on their own egotistical nastiness to make themselves smug, but not happy.  This guy would fall into that category of people.  He called me a bitch more than once last night.  Never smiling or laughing as he did it.  He said nasty things to and at me.  However, there was a moment that was quite delicious for me.  As I sat next to Aaron and discussed our old classmates, this guy (ah shit, let me just name him – Stuart) Stuart came up behind me and said, “Get the fuck out of my chair” to which I said “Fuck you, find another”.  He slammed his beer over my shoulder onto the table and I accidentally knocked it over and then sat it square and hard on the table.  As the foam came to the top of the bottle I put my fingers over it.  And remembered a game I played as a kid while washing dishes with friends, you know, you put your thumb over the spigot and then try to aim at your friend to soak them… Well, as the pressure mounted under my fingers I tilted the bottle towards him, because I did not want it on me.  When I removed my fingers half of his beer squirted right in his eyes, through his hair and all over his face.  For the rest of the night each time he was nasty to me I chuckled thinking of his expression as his beer landed square on his sour puss.   What a horrible life he must be leading right now, how unhappy he must be that this nasty attitude radiates from him and out into the world.  And though he aggravated me last night with his rudeness, this morning I feel sorry for him.  I really do.  How horrible must you feel in your own heart that you have to be like that to others?

Person Number Two – I will not name because he is a friend to a number of you who read my blog and are my friends on FB.  And the few of you who know me very well will know who I speak of without my needing to name him.  Let’s call him Peter for the sake of this blog. So Peter I met when I was bartending.  And those of you who have ever bartended know that you have to flirt and appear to be “available” to achieve maximum tips for the night.  So through my bartending days there were a lot of girls who were jealous and a lot of boys who (although they did NOT score) said that they scored with me.  This guy was one of those.  Sigh.  He went as far as to tell my friend’s husband some ten years after the last time I bartended that he “knew” me, that his cousin “knew” me and that I was bad news.  For a little over a year I have stewed on that and have wanted to confront him and tell him what an idiot he is.  Last night, among shots and friends, I was building up a head of steam to do just that.  I commented to Painter that if Peter spoke to me I was going to make an ass out of myself.  So, I walked to the bar and was speaking to the bartender and when I turned around he was standing in front of me.  I had a person on either side of me so there was no way to take flight.  So here I was, stuck.  He launches into the sugary-sweet-sappy conversation about…OMG how great it is to see you, OMG the last time I saw you, you look great…blah blah blah.  I sat there looking at him thinking to myself “Wow, why would I expend energy to be irritated by this man?”  And my response to him was curt, yet nothing huge and I walked away.  And I wonder to myself how it is that people can concoct these huge stories and spread them like fact and then have the cajones to stand in front of you and speak to you like you are the prodigal son returned?  How is that?  And how bad of a place are you in your life that you have to make yourself appear so much more than what you really are?

So I sit here and ponder on this for a little bit.  Because strange things bug me the most.  I really wish I could remember why I don’t like Stuart (other than his being an obnoxious hole).  That one will bother me.  As for Peter, poor thing, he should be more happy with his wife and less happy spreading fantasies about me.

And although those two things sounds like they took up a good portion of the night, really they did not.  I just like writing things out to try to figure out why they make me react so.  The evening was a great time filled with friends and fun and silliness.  After all, any night that sees me dancing the Cupid Shuffle AND the YMCA, how could it NOT be great?!?  We have to plan for this again around Thanksgiving, hopefully there will be a good amount of people home and Rezan will have us back…..

 

The Hunt

So, a little over a week ago I got a call from my Christopher (who is stationed in Baghdad).  He told me he had packed up some more of his stuff to mail home, took it to the post office and mailed it along with something else.  What? I asked.  He said You will know soon enough.  So me, being the yenta that I am, needed to know.  May I have a clue? And his response:

“It will come to you through the USPS in a box shaped like a cube, the box has red and blue lettering on it and will be addressed from me to you.“

On a couple of occasions I asked for further clues and was shut down every time.  So my status messages on FB and myspace have alluded to the ever elusive cube.  What could it be?  What was in it?  Then then this afternoon I get a call from my daughter who says – your cube is here!  She sent me a snapshot of it in her hand.  So now I knew that it was indeed a cube…hmmmmm.

And then the fun truly began.  Christopher and Amanda began the grand scheme of making me work just a little more for the cube.  Between the two giggling fools they were set to send me on a hunt for the cube.  Sigh, they love to torment me.  And while sitting at my desk at 5:30 I knew that I wanted to be home as quickly as possible because this wonderful man had just given me the giggles and had excited me into wondering what in the hell was in the box (and hoping it was not a pair of his seventy-eight pairs of army green socks he does not know what to do with).  So in a jif I was logged off my computer and mobile…

I bolted down 34th Street to make the next train.  It was leaving in 15 minutes and the only Miracle on 34th St today was that I did not kill a handful of idiots that got in my way – including the guy who dresses like a cowboy, paints himself bronze and dances on a milk crate for anyone who throws change in his spittoon (yeah, I almost stopped to take a pic of him for the blog I knew I had to write but I had no time to spare….) But, he seems to have a brother in a non-English speaking land because I did find this pic online:

I am running down the stairs at Penn (yeah, you read that right, the escalator was taking too long).  The whole time chanting “please don’t be Track 15, please don’t be Track 15″.  As Murphy and his stupid ass law would have it – TRACK 15!  So, that meant me having to run the furthest distance possible.  I get there, find me a vacant seat next to a window I can daydream from and then I get a text which asked: so whatcha thinking about babe? I responded: You and what a joy you can be and how I am sure it will be an adventure when I get home. Chris wanted to stay awake so he could be on the phone with me for the adventure.  But there is a seven hour difference in time and he has to get up early in the morning.  So to bed he went and I texted Amanda to make sure the camera was charged so I could write this blog and he could walk through the joy he created for me…

His last text to me read: Just keep in mind anything that we have discussed over the past couple of weeks and you should be fine. Ok, for those of you who do not realize this – all Chris and I get to do is chat online, phone calls, speak via webcam.  Do you know how much information can be drawn from all of that?!?!  Sigh.  But the last text was the sweetest: just keep telling yourself… this is fun… I really needed no reminders.  He had told me to enjoy my cube and I texted him back I already have.  And that was the simple joy of it.  The tormenting fun that he and Amanda had put me through created such a happiness for me that even now I am still smiling and shaking my head at the fun of it.  So, I nabbed the camera from the car and the following pics chronicle the adventures of my evening:

At the front door I was met with:

Ok, thinking cap on….

What did you tell Chris that he didn’t need to buy one of since you already have that taken care of?  This was the hardest and I had to do a lot of pacing around the house, hoping something would pop out at me to remind me.  Then I passed our game rack in the hallway and remembered…

No, that is not the answer to the clue.  It is just the damn obstacle to get to it.  See, the answer to that clue lay within our catch-all closet.  And that extra door there  – well, it is from Amanda’s closet in the other room.  So it was a bit of a struggle. Good things are worth the work, right? Well, behind those two doors was…

The XBox!!!!  And, with my correct guess came another clue: What is one major item that has to be changed when Chris gets home?  (get the answer right and you will find the next clue!)  Which led me to…..

Clue #3 pinned to my twin bed:

Ok, that may have been too much information.  However, Chris is over six foot tall and my bed is comfy for one of me, maybe not two of us.  This clue read:  Would you like some ice cream?  So, across the street I walked to…

Carvel, where Amanda was working and giggling as I walked through the door.  I asked where the cube was and she handed me…

The final clue!!!  YAY  The cube was within my grasp….  It stated: What have you been yelling at Amanda to do in the kitchen?  Which led me to….

Like how I sneaked a “where have my feet been” pic into this adventure? Always!!!!!  But wait!  That says Wait A Second.  The last was supposed to be my final clue!!!  This one read: Keep going…however, change my clothes around !! Thanks Mommy Love You  I think she just got me on that one….

Yeah, she is spoiled.  I moved her clothes out of the dryer, frantically looking for another clue.  Then moved the ones from the washer to the dryer.  Yeah, I think she added that one to get out of work!!  But when I took clothes out of the laundry hamper, look what I found…..

The sweet little cube that had given me hours of entertainment and had just about made me silly with the happies this evening.  And yeah, I guess the journey is half the fun.  Inside was…..

An addition to my collection.  And for those of you who do not know what Red Friday is, just click here:  RED

But oh, these two right here…. they brought me a lot of giggles, fun and happy this evening…..

And my new Cubby found his way to his new home with his new friends…..

Christopher – what a joy you are to me.  Oh the fun we are going to have.  However…although you make fun of my clutter, you just added to it!!!!!!       You truly cannot begin to imagine how precious you are to me.

 

Ghosts

So in three weeks I have had three voices from my past come to haunt me.  Three voices from different times in my life and when I was in different places  Not only physically but emotionally.  All three voices were past loves who were the best and worse of my life.  Two of which asked me the same question, Do you ever think about “us”?  Sad thing is, yes.  Usually at the start of a relationship when I am evaluating who I am as an individual.  Cause, should we not know who we are as an individual before we endeavor to become a couple?

So, who am I as an individual?  If I were to choose five of my top characteristics they would be:  Great Mom/Daughter, Loyal Friend, Passionate Love, Hard Worker, Versatile.

And I guess to truly evaluate I would need the worse five characteristics.  And those would be:  Impatient, Hold Grudges, Self Deprecating, Stubborn, Cynical.

Wow, my five good ones make me sound like Susie Homemaker Soccer Mom while my worse five make me sound like Miss Curmudgeon 2009.  I like to think of myself as a quazi-decent person so I am hoping I am a smidgen of all those things with not too much of any one (although cynicism is a fine honed characteristic that I wear like a comfy pair of Chucks).  Well, there is one that I am just full of – Impatience.

As I sit here I can attest to the fact that I want a road map of the rest of my life laid out before me so I can brace myself for the bumps and beatings scheduled for the rest of my time on this little planet we call Earth.  I am so tired of the bumps and beatings.  No, really, I am.  Do you know how tiring it is to dream of a fairytale and simultaneously feel unworthy of it?  Exhausting.  And then, when the opportunity presents itself, to sit there and try to figure out everything all at once right now in preparation of the inevitable heartbreak?  Really Ms. Rodriguez, I am only showing up with flowers on our first date as a nicety and not to signify the death of love as we know it…. sigh

I live with the inability to allow life to unfold before me without trying to brace for whatever bad looms around the corner.  All for reasons which good therapy or an expensive bottle of tequila could easily draw out of me.  So, if Iknow these things why do they persist?  That, my friend, is my pondernace for this evening.  That and why is it that beer makes us pee so much?

And before Erin has the opportunity to say it, yeah, yeah, I’m trying to cut the shit.

Christopher, you poor soul, you inherit a slightly damaged but goodhearted woman who hopes you have patience, fortitude and a working compass.

 

If only Falcon Crest had a vampire…

I grew up watching my Mom become overly involved in daytime dramas.  She would call the characters by their first names as if they were family and friends.  One of her favorites ended its 72 year run in recent weeks (although I did not read the article, only the headline, I am sure part of that had to be radio days).  But her General Hospital is still on the air….  She also loved the nighttime dramas.  There was Dallas, Falcon Crest, Dynasty.  The list for both could go on.  I used to hear the comment, “Well, if you need something from me get it now, my shows are getting ready to come on.”  I giggled then.  I understand now.

The daytime dramas are now being smothered out by talk shows, game shows and the news.  But the nighttime dramas and the cable TV series are thriving.  And, as a second generation devotee, I do my part keeping up the ratings of my favorite shows.  And, like my Mom, I find myself calling these characters by their first names like they are family (Caly, Christina, Meredith) or the dirty neighbors you peek at through your window (Sookie, Eric, Jason).  How funny that life has come full circle.  The online repeats, I believe, are one of the greatest innovations these shows could ever conjure up.  That I can watch my show and then re-watch it the next day just to make sure I really saw/heard what I thought I saw/heard…simply delicious.  ABC.com sees my traffic daily with such shows as Grey’s and Private Practice.  They will, I am sure, see additional traffic from me for their new series Cougartown (no laughs required).  As for True Blood, the VOD for HBO allows you to watch one (or all) anytime you like.

So, this blog is an Ode D’Mama…

In the past two weeks I saw the season finale of True Blood and the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy.  What a difference in response each received from me.

As for True Blood, I have read all of the books by Charlaine Harris.  I always refer to them as literary water.  I blow through one book in a day because (although entertaining) it does not take a lot of brainwork to make your way through it.  So, when the show loosely follows the premiss of the book, I bitch to my fellow watchers.  When it hits a point dead on, I praise.  However, this season left me feeling unsatisfied.  I have grown accustomed to the campy acting, the deviated script and the actors who do not fit the descriptions of the characters.  So I prepared for season two knowing the story and expecting as good as (if not better) productions as last season.  What I received was a continual orgy of sex and blood.  Which, to watchers of The Tudors, would seem like any other day.  But to me it was a sad removal from the actual storyline.  I made it the whole way through the season and I now question my following it next season (or possibly catching just the marathon at the end of the season to get it all over with at once).  Who knows, I may change my mind….

And then there was Thursday night.  Sigh, swoon, tear.  Grey’s Anatomy. If you have a penis, it seems you will not understand.  However, for all of my girlfriends out there – was it not just the hardest thing to see?  The death of George O’Mally.  If I had thought that the last season closer had taken all my tears I only had to turn on the premiere to remember how to cry.  I will not divulge any spoilers here but will say – if you love the show, you will not be let down by the two hour premiere.  If you love the show and missed it, well there is one thing I will say – You will rue the day!  That’s right, I said RUE!  We lost a main character and kept one we all wish would just go the eff away.  We saw reversals of roles, we saw breaking of alliances, we saw the strengthening of relationships and we saw a whole lot of sexy.  I love intelligent sexy and this show offers it en masse.  So yeah, pleased and as of the typing of this blog, it has already been re-watched.  God love ya Shonda Rhimes!!  WHA?  You don’t think my Ma woulda done then same thing?  steups as Mel would say!

And then there was the newcomer to my weekly lineup – Flash Forward.  The series premiere was just before Grey’s Anatomy (great time slot if you ask me) and it proved to be of great interest.  The first show was very exciting, had an interesting plot beginning, likable characters.  It should prove to be worth at least a handful of watches.  And shall I just say Joseph Fiennes (go ahead ladies, take a moment to stop reading and ponder the thought of him…) Sigh.  Ok, on to something else….

Modern Family – turned off before the end of the show.  Cougartown – welcome back Courtney, we missed you and this character is funny, witty and suits you perfectly (good luck).

Oh, and I am SO looking forward to next Thursday to see what has happened to the baby on Private Practice!!!! Oh, and there is Brothers and Sisters and the new Hank…… Fall TV is so much better than the rest!

So, that is my rundown on the current shows.  Watch them (all mentioned other than True Blood is available online).  Let me know what you think.

Ciao

 

Single Parenting – a right or a vice?

I will preface this blog by stating – I am a single mother.  I have raised two children to the best of my ability with no real assistance from any ‘father’ (other than my own).  In the face of that, both are now young adults who are attending college.  In my opinion, my children are well rounded in that they have an awareness of who they are and how their actions can affect others.  They both have a love of family and friends and are very aware of the communities around them. The “Michelle” in me will add, don’t get me wrong, they can be shits at times (like all kids), but they are the best kids I could ever imagine being blessed with.

Now on to the blog….

This blog is in response to a commentary on cnn.com titled “Let’s End Disposable Marriage” in which Leah Ward Sears writes about how upon the death of her brother they found papers in which he writes about, “Re-establishment of equity and balance and sanity within the American family.” His words have apparently moved Leah Ward Sears to relinquish her seat as Chief Justice of the Georgia Supreme Court.  She is now an educator and is working to build up families in America.

The commentary that angered me is as follows, “He railed against intentional unwed childbearing and the ease with which divorce was possible. He didn’t like that we have become a society that values the rights of adults to do their own thing over our responsibility to protect our children.“

Ms. Sears goes on to give her view that no-fault divorces undermine the foundation of the American families.  This is due to their “easy” accessibility.  She feels that people are allowed to leave a marriage “without a real regard for the gravity of their decision and the consequences for other people, particularly children“.

Close to the closing of this article she states, “The one-parent norm, which is necessary and successful in many cases, nevertheless often creates a host of other problems, from poverty to crime, teen pregnancy and drug abuse.“

…

So now for my thoughts.

I have been divorced three times.  I always get the “Three?  Really?  Wow.”  I smile, I nod and I go about whatever story is being told and accept that people can not understand how that can be the case.  In truth, there are times that I, myself, cannot understand how that can be the case.  But it is.

I grew up in a small town in West Virginia.  Everyone knew everyone and most kids chomped at the bit to leave for college and start their lives elsewhere. I was no different.  I went off to college in Cincinnati which was far enough away from my parents that they could not surprise visit me every weekend yet close enough that I could drive home once a month and do my laundry as well as stock up on supplies.  While in college I became pregnant.  (I love how that sounds when people say it.  As if, POOF you’re pregnant! But you know what I mean.)  We were young and our relationship was never going to make it.  We made a valiant effort at trying to make it.  Separated, tried from a distance and then gave up.  He gave up a little more than me because in effect that is where his parenting of my son ended.  But that is not what my blog is about…

When I returned home I stayed with my parents for a while, took a job as an optician and even enrolled in a couple of college classes.  My Mom made a couple of comments that would change the course of my life.  In so many words, she said that I needed to find someone to settle down with.  That my son would need a father.  That a kid should have both parents.  I was also made to feel that a boy of my age would probably never want me because I came as a package deal…  I was filled with a sense of urgency that my being a single mother was a detriment to my son.  That I was failing him as a parent for not being one half of two wholes.  And so the search was on.

***A note in retrospect… I know that my Mom was doing her best to make sure that I was secure in life.  She was trying to guide me in the best way she possibly could.  She did not realize that her path for me and my path for me would never fully converge.***

I found a man who in appearance was a great candidate.  He was the manager of a store, he wore a suit to work every day, he was charming and I found him attractive.  He decided to move back to his hometown.  I visited, he asked me to marry him, the rest was history.  Within our four years of marriage, he isolated me from my family, wore down my ability to believe that I was worth more than the abuse that was offered and on a few occasions almost killed me.  But, I was stubborn and felt that this was the man I married and that I should do all in my power to make sure this worked.  In the middle of it all I was blessed with the birth of my daughter.  It was for the love of my children that I realized the urgent need to end the marriage before it ended me.

I was married twice more after that.  Each time thinking I had chose the man who best suited me.  Each time thinking that this was “the one”.  Each time thinking that finally I would be able to offer my children the “family” that they deserved.  And, sadly, each time realizing that my choices were poor and that yet another marriage was coming to a close.

I have been divorce (and marriage) free for about six years (and am only 40).  In those six years I have established myself more as an individual.  I have allowed my kids to see how it is to forge a family with only one parent.  And, despite what a number of people out there might think, I believe my children are more prepared for a realistic world than the fantasy one we feed them through media and unrealistic “family” goals.

Am I anti-marriage?  No, not at all.  I believe two people who love each other and who value each other on a variety of levels should give marriage a go after a certain period of preparation.  I also think that love at first sight and running away to elope after knowing each other for a short period has worked well for a number of people too.  I also know that no government, no judge, no caseworker has the right to force you to stay in a relationship against your will.  Who are they to put forth emotional and unjust burdens that deprive you of the basic right to pursue happiness?

I think it is very careless to write an article that would even remotely suggest the forcing of couples to stay together.  I think the thing that would be most beneficial would be the education of our CHILDREN in a number of areas:

* Teach them self respect.  Build up their confidence.  Allow them to realize that they can be complete all on their own and that they do not need a mate to be complete in life.  Sears is right about one thing, some people should not marry.

* Teach our children about personal finance.  We should have mandatory classes in high school that educate our children on how to balance a check book, the importance of not running up their personal debt, explain banking terminology and the ramifications of poor credit.  If they are financially dependent they will break the cycle of believing in marriage as a way for someone to provide for you.

* How about we make it harder to GET married in the first place to ensure that our young people are not rushing into marriage as an alternative to secondary education or as a way out of their parents’ house?

I think that we, as a society, raise our children to expect no better than the belief that relationships do not last and now are we going to also condemn them to remain in the very failed relationships we forced them to expect.

Also, I think that there is a large number of people who believe that their views are correct and that they have the perfect roadmap to life and that the rest of the world should follow suit.  It just is not as simple as that.  We (as humans) have been blessed with free will, with creative uniqueness and an uncanny sense of being able to survive failure.  Because of these wonderful things, there is no way a relationship molded to certain specifics for one set of people will always work for another set of people.  I believe it is irresponsible to think that forcing people to remain married is an acceptable answer to rebuilding the foundation of the American family.

I would like to also point out that although Ms. Sears feels that single parenting can oftentimes lead to ‘a host of other problems, from poverty to crime, teen pregnancy to drug absue’ – those are things which are also found in two parent households.

If a financially secure woman of 40, who has established herself in the community and who can provide for herself and a child wishes to be artificially inseminated in an attempt to start a family of her own definition, then who are we to say that is wrong?  I have known some single parents (both Moms AND Dads) who are far more successful at child rearing than some of our more prominent married couples.  My two closest friends, one is a single mother, the other is the byproduct of a single father…  They are good people and I would like to offer them as counter evidence to Ms. Sears’ commentary.

But, that is just my opinion.  ((Michelle has now stepped off the soap box and has returned to the rest of her day.))

 

True Blood S2E3, Scratches

*****Spoilers….. Loads and loads of spoilers!

I can say this about Season Two, I definitely like the promo posters….  I see them at the bus stops and on the sides of buses and I smile every time…..

And now, the HBO original series, True Blood (I love hearing those words on a Sunday night)….

We start with a ride in the middle of the night, a fight and an annoying new vampire.  I am quite intrigued by the true form of Chaos.  She looked similar to a Minotaur.  Wicked wet claws.  I am looking forward to a parting of Sookie and Bill and hope that the heat of her next romance (according to the books) is as hot on screen as it was in writing…  Nice convulsions and great alkaseltzer foam!! Good gore.  Kudos from a lover of the genre. As for the doctor who was treating her, the actress was not the greatest.

Jason shirtless in bed.  It seems the religious road offers us many more skin opportunities than the old dirty man whore Jason ever could have.  And the Vampires Anonymous meeting?  The chick that was all eat up.  I like that Jason keeps his edge “…thought Jesus had a plan for me or some shit like that…”   Great lines.. “Hating evil is really loving good.”  “Sarah doesn’t just whip out her pudding for anybody.”

I heart the sexy Sam.  Even if he is a little confused these days.  I think that Terry Bellfleur was well cast.  I also like his Boogy Bayou tShirt.

Sook has found LaFayette in the basement and found her own cajones.  Slapping Eric for keeping him in the basement.  “Perhaps I’ll grow on you.  Like Cancer.”  I like Pam a little more too.  We are seeing more of the bitch that she was in the books.  LayFayette locks himself into his house as if that would stop a vampire.  Poor guy was beat to hell, not all sexy like we love him to be.  But the quilt he wrapped up in…. my Mom has one just like it.  But then again, there are a lot of those very crocheted blankets in homes all through the South.

Ok, the annoying teenager has an entry song of Sex and Candy by Marcy’s Playground.  Great song.  But with this random storyline we have her meet Hoyt?  But wasn’t it Hoyt in Season One who tried to drink True Blood when Compton was lecturing at the church?  He makes sense for her storyline.  “Chicken fried steak.  It’s like a chicken and a steak got together and had a baby.”  In this scene, with her cleaned up and without her whining, I enjoyed her character so much more.  But poor, simple Hoyt.  That they compare her having to sleep in a hole to his Mama keeping her doll collection in his closet.  That was priceless!  “I’d die if I wasn’t already dead.”  And the love scene that between the two of them that was interrupted by Bil..  Interested in this storyline.

And we have Andy Bellfleur show up in the middle of an orgy.  And was it the stew with the juniper that got all these people riled up?  And the disappearing pig in the pighouse? Then Tara sees it (and so do we…) a  big fat guy with a nekked weiner.  So much for all of the pretty people (chuckle)!

Ok, the closing scene…. there was a Daphne in the books but there was never one that received the same clawing as Sook.  I hate how far this has strayed from the book series.

I am still on the fence.  But to know that there is not another new one until the 12th?!?!  What the hell is that about?

 

True Blood “Keep This Party Going” S2E2

Wow, in the opening scenes we have a confirmation – yes, Erik did eat a penis last episode.  Hmm.

Scene Two – Sookie is a dirty whore.  LOL  Didn’t she just lose her virginity last season? And now she cannot get enough!

And as funny as it seems, I can so see a character like Jason Stackhouse becoming a leader in some cult movement.  Young and handsome, appealing to young women – marketing at its best. Let’s just say – God Bless Texas.  Great song btw.  But here came Jason, shirtless, streaking down the field.  I was wondering (if you recall) how they were going to show his skin as he is in a religious movement now…. But I could have done without the musical interlude.  Hoping that is not going to become a regular occurrence.   However, I can so see “Jesus Asked Me Out Today” being sold at WalMart.  giggle  “I bet you think you walk on water…. I am pretty sure that was Moses”  great line – great laugh!

Let’s talk about Eggs (Mehcad Brooks).  Oh my the body.  I am amazed how this deep southern location has so many pretty people.  Even the average people are still pretty.  That sometimes bothers me about Hollywood.  But I guess we would not tune in to watch a bunch of toothless rednecks, huh?

I believe the underestimated character/actor in this show is Sam Merlot (Sam Trammell).  I am not sure that I am that big of a fan of him in the books.  However, I like him on the show.

The scene maker for me was LaFayette and the hip.  I am a huge fan of gore movies and I have to say kudos.  Well done.  That he asks to be made a vampire is typical LaFayette.  It is said that there is supposed to be sexual chemistry between he and Erik.

“There was this one time I was at a club in Shreveport and I had a woman tell me I looked like an epileptic on meth.”

Ok, the musical emphasis needs to be dropped.  Or, better music selected.  Not that I do not like country music, but the songs do not sound like they are being sung by the original artists.

And Jessica, the teenage vamp – still irritates me.  But am interested in seeing if the family turns up missing.

And although the music irritated me a little tonight, I really liked the closing song…..

((Added after the fact))

The song is You Did by Chuck Prophet – enjoy:

 

True Blood Season Two Opener

There will be spoilers….

Season Two, Ep One – Strange Love

Ok, the first two minutes of the show and I see that it has deviated again from the book series.  That LaFayette is still alive is troublesome for me.  Do not get me wrong, I LOVED his character last season but he should be dead.  Of course they replaced him in the backseat of Andy’s car with a character from Season One who did not exist in the books at all.

It took me a while to realize that the difference in Sookie was the move to curly hair.

And let’s talk about recycling…..lol  What the heck was that about?  True Blood’s way to promote green to the viewers?

And Jason will be following the Light?  I can tell by the response to a certain picture I have posted for last season’s last show that we love Ryan Kwanten.  I can see why HBO would want to increase his presence above what was in the book.  Shame that he will be all Light-ish this season and less…um, well…naked.

I like the development of Sam’s character.  Another deviation but I like seeing him as a pup.

Best lines of the night…. “One beer can led to another and then she was crushing my head with her tits.”  “Now my hip is magnetic.” “I’m tired of charring my ass on your back burner.”

I like Chaos.  I cannot think of her true name.  I just remember her from the book and think of her as chaos.

I do not like the new girl in Vampire Bill’s life.  She will prove to irritate me throughout the season if she is a constant.

Kudos to Anna Paquin that she is so comfortable with herself that she would do nude scenes.  So many actresses shy away from it.  Definitely not her.

And did I hear Randy Travis at the end?  I have to find that song…..

Season Two Episode Names on IMDB

Watch it, let me know what you think….

Ciao

LaFayette asks to become a vampire?  Will we see Bubba or will the omit him from the show?

 

The one I could not find yesterday…

The Norman Conquests